


The Journal

by Kay_1



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:08:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25322878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kay_1/pseuds/Kay_1
Summary: 'I have been blind Tegan , So blind . You really love me this much?''Guess there is no denying what you read in my journal then.' Tegan says her eyes looking anywhere but Annalise . She tries to get out of Annalises hold but she holds her there.'Tell me Tegan you really do love me this much?'
Relationships: Annalise Keating/Tegan Price
Comments: 31
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

Annalise debated with herself should I read it should I not , should I read it should I not , should I read it, should I not . Tegan had just hastily left her office for an emergency meeting and left her diary open and now Annalise was faced with a huge dilemma of whether to finally see what she'd been dribbling in those pages or not . Better yet was she ready for what was written inside . She smiled picked up the tablets and said to herself  
'It's Tegan and she's my friend we don't hide things from each other so I don't think she'll mind.'  
She convinced herself and completely ignored that inner voice that told her not to.

Diary Entry 25  
So I thought about you today too, that beautiful suit you wore to work, the bracelet on your hand , the smile you were wearing and most importantly the way you looked at me. seemed as if you wanted to tell me something that I wasn't already reading. The look was brief, precise and not sending much of a message so I wondered what you wanted to say did you feel the same way I felt when our hands brushed or was it when our eyes met I'm not sure maybe one day you'll tell me.

Diary Entry 25  
You were so worried today. I tried to talk to you but as usual you shut me out are you scared of me cuz I can't really wrap my finger around our relationship, do you not trust me? after all I've done for you heck I slept with an agent for you , that should count as something. maybe it doesn't. is there's something here or am i misreading the signs. I'm sure you've seen me checking you out and I've seen you checking me out too so why do you shut me out when you constantly call me a friend . 

Diary entry 27  
So we went dancing. actually you came I didn't think you would come when you did I was so happy to see you . I was more happy when you finally agreed to dance the way the light shone upon your face was beautiful , carried me away and I couldn't help but stare at the beauty that you are. Will you dance with me again? Will we go back to that club? Will this be a thing? ooh i hope this becomes a thing.

Diary entry 30  
Did you have to go to that date with Robert?? my god I am so mad at you ok I have no right to be mad but I'm so mad at you oh and you just said "Now who's Jealous." Of course I'm jealous cause I like you so much I liked you from the moment you walked out of that elevator ,speaking of elevators Michaela did tell me you told me to kiss your ass after the first time we met, well I'd love to. 

Diary Entry 37  
I AM OBSESSED WITH YOU.

Diary entry 45  
Annalise oh my Annalise I love how beautiful your name looks on my pages I just wrote it for the first time . Annalise I think it's time I finally say the truth I'm in love with you I can't tell you though , I can never tell you I'm in love with you I don't know if you can offer me love or I'm just scared of the rejection. Our friendship means so much to me and I'd hate to lose it especially our salsa dance nights and the sleepovers. You mean so much to me so I would never risk you knowing that I love you because maybe you'll run and I don't want you to run. Annalise you are the closest thing I have to family.

'Ugh!!' Annalise sighs as she picks up the tablet one more time.  
'What did I just read?'she asked herself out loud. 

Annalise had always thought of herself as a smart woman she thought she picked up on everything. she especially thought she knew Tegan and she could not believe she had missed such a big thing, Tegan was in love with her. Tegan had been right there through it all she had done things Annalise would never ask of her. She had been the defination of ride or die. And she never asked for anything. Never. Annalise sat down with her head in her hands wondering how could she not see this love.

'Am I so broken that I can't see anything anymore, can I not feel anymore, what has become of me.' She felt so blind and stupid as she questioned herself. Of course Tegan loved her. She did. She picked up the tablet and read some more. She smiled more and more the more she read. Tegan was really into her.

' Annalise please put that down.' Tegan said rattling her. She turned to face her with the tablet still in hand 

'I want to look into your eyes and get lost in them. to feel your hands all over my body. to feel you holding me, touching me, kissing me i just want to know how it would feel to be yours.' She read . Her face plain and no emotion at all.

Tegan stood there , feeling nervous she could not tell how much of her Annalise had unveiled through those pages and that made her really uncomfortable. So she thought to do what anyone else would do.

'How dare you go through my journal Annalise , how could you do that? i thought you respected me and my boundaries.!!?She said angrily.

'Hey Tegan calm down.' Annalise said not even shaken up by the semi Tantrum Tegan had tried to throw.

"You are so wrong for reading that Annalise, So wrong." She again attempted to seem mad.

"Seeing your face, hearing your voice, being around you makes me feel Alive." Annalise read from one of her other journal entries.

'Tegan....' Annalise said as she walked just a little bit to reduce the space between them. Tegan stood there. catching her breath . Ready for whatever Annalise had to say.

'Read this for me.' She said as she handed Tegan her tablet .

Tegan took it reluctantly , her face confused.

'Just read it.' Annalise insisted.

'I had a dream about you last night. I was standing in my office when you walked in , came closer to me lifted my chin and gave me a small peck on my lips.' Annalise walked closer to Tegan held her gaze ,lifted her chin and gave her a little peck on the lips.

'I missed you in my bed last night.' Tegan continued to read. Annalise did not move rather she whispered a soft continue against Tegan lips.

'You wrapped your hands around me and let me rest my head on your shoulder and we just stood there in silence. I missed you so much you said as you kissed my forehead.' Annalise held Tegan close to her as she let her rest her head on shoulder. After a while she looked at Tegan with so much love in her eyes and said.

'I missed you so much Tegan.' Tegan smiled just going with the wave of whatever Annalise was doing not really sure where it was all headed but she loved this woman. So she played along.

'You took my hand and led me to my window , Showed me the how beautiful the city is , from my office view. 

'I see the cities when i look into your eyes so beautiful and full of life and love. Annalise says just like she did in your dream.

Annalise wrapped her hands from behind Tegan as they both stare at their beautiful view as they swayed from right to left . 

'One more sentence.' Annalise said to Tegan .

'I love you, i say to you. and You lean down and whisper to my ears . I love you too. And i wake up frustrated because its just a dream.' Tegan finishes reading from her journal entry.

She tilts her head up and looks into Annalises dark eyes  
'What are you doing Annalise? I dont understand all this, What is this?'

'I have been blind Tegan , So blind . You really love me this much?'

'Guess there is no denying what you read in my journal then.' Tegan says her eyes looking anywhere but Annalise . She tries to get out of Annalises hold but she holds her there. 

'Tell me Tegan you really do love me this much?'

'Yes i do Annalise Yes I love you so much.' Tegan strips herself naked . Annalise kisses her neck several times and she stays silent for a while.

'Please say something.' Tegan says to her as if pleading to not be rejected.

Annalise pulled Tegan closer as if that was even possible. She leans close enough to Tegan's ear and says  
'I think I love you too.'

'Think?' Tegan says turning around So that they are face to face .  
Annalise looks into her eyes and says

'You have done much more than anyone could ever do to me. you have been my friend for so long and i dont want to loose that , You mean everything to me and i never asked even for a day how you felt i just assumed you liked me and then today i found this online journal about me and you and i have never felt as blind and as stupid as i feel right now. i could not see you or see through this friendship to what you really wanted from me. Or what we could be. Maybe i saw you and got scared because loosing you is one thing i am never planning to do.'

'What are you saying ?' Tegan asked.

'I missed you in my bed. I have been missing you in my bed Tegan. I want you in my Bed. I am saying lets do this.I dont want you to write any more journal entries of me and everything you want from me. I am saying let me hold you , feel you , kiss you and be with you. I am saying I love you Tegan. 

Annalise stared into her eyes a little longer and then leaned in and kissed her. Slow subtle and sure. when they pulled back , Tegan smiled so lovingly at her .

'I can't believe any of this.' she said as if she was in a trance.

'Annalise your 3 o'clock is here.' Her personal assistant called .  
'Be right there.' she said.

She gave Tegan one more kiss as she walked out of her office . Tegan turned back to staring at her view which meant so much to her now.

'Hey Tegan' Annalise called from the door.

'I better never miss you in my bed. and go back to work.' She said pretending like all that did not just happen she then blew her a kiss and left. Tegan Laughed out loud and whispered a little my love to herself as she sat down took her journal and wrote 

Diary Entry 237  
Dreams do come true.

She closed it and resumed her work as her mind drifted back to replay everything that had happened.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I can't see you anymore Tegan." 
> 
> Annalise said her face plain not giving any emotions. Tegan stood there frozen unable to move. Was this all a joke to Annalise. What did she do?
> 
> "Why?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this its weird thing my mind came up with❤

Wifey💦👅💋: Come to the washroom right now!! 

Tegan smiled surprised at Annalise's text. She thought her girlfriend was with the Keating 5 handling one of their messes. She could not believe how much sneaking around they had been doing lately. They had gotten together a little over three and a half months now and yet no one but them knew. Keeping their hands to themselves and pretending like they were not seeing each other was proving to be more difficult than they thought. Everyone kinda knew Tegan was in love with Annalise and Annalise was oblivious to it , so they decided to let that be what people believed. Truth be told Annalise was not oblivious to Tegans Feelings , she just sucked at showing emotions thats all. As a matter of fact she thought Tegan was amazing and she'd been secretly stealing glances and eye fucking her any chance she got. In the office they were nothing more than co workers who loved each others company while in the confides of their apartments they were lovers , girlfriends and confidants who could not be kept apart.

**FLASH BACK**  
Tegan and Annalise walked to the Elevator after that phsychotic C.E.O threatened Emmett with his mis conduct in London. Bored and exhausted after being called out on being single. None of them found his rant relevent but they knew there was some truth in it.

"I have never hated a client so much in my life." Tegan said pissed and rolling her eyes.

"I hate em all." Annalise said making Tegan laugh.

"That Misconduct he mentioned do you know anything about it." Annalise asked

"All that i know is that it involved a client." Tegan said

"Sexual?" Annalise asked

"I dont know ." Tegan said as she saw her floor was near, ready to get back to her office to resume her work.

"Take it from me , the less tea you know around here the better for you...." Tegan was thrown back as they heard a loud banging of the elevator as it clearly came to a stop. She tried pressing the buttons but nothing happened. She took her phone out and called the office , informing them the elevator stopped. She sighed as she put her phone back in her pocket.

"They said one hour at least" Tegan said, her breathing hitched as she walked from side to side in the small elevator as her claustrophobia kicked in. She tried taking calm breathes but nothing worked. And the fact that she had to be stuck with Annalise who she had a massive crush on and lots of feelings also for more than hour was not helping. 

"Hey calm down , i am here, we can breathe alright , it's not like i am leaving you in here alone anyway. we are stuck here together and am not bad company am i?" Annalise said calmly as she lowered Tegan to the ground so that they were seated side by side. Tegan leaned her head on Annalises shoulder, took a huge breath As if realizing where her head was she awkwardly moved away from Annalise .

They sat there in silence none of them saying a word. Their eyes wondering anywhere but to each other. They could feel the tension increasing. Annalise shifted weirdly not knowing why and not really understanding why the room was filled with so much sexual tension. She knew she liked Tegan and even though she never paid any attention to her feelings or did anything about them she was finding it extremely difficult to not just kiss her in that elevator . She felt like maybe this was sign . This was actually the first time she was with Tegan and they did not have to talk about work.She realised they had never been alone at any particular moment so far. She did not know what to say to her. She was relieved that Tegan was now breathing calmly but now her insides were all Mushy .

"Anna....Tega..." They both said at the same time cutting each other off. Tegan blushed. This was some Telenovela shit she was not used to. 

"You go first." Annalise told her.

"Okay, .....mmmmmh thanks for calming me down i feel better." she said looking into Annalise's eyes only now realising how beautiful they were .

"It's nothing , i did nothing actually." Annalise told her watching her squirm under her intense gaze. She inhaled nervously and broke off their eye contact.

Tegan looked at the door then back at Annalise she repeated her actions as Annalise observed. she could not believe how nervous Tegan was. "Are you okay , You keep fidgetting Tegan, Is there something else bothering you?" Annalise asked.

"No its just that..." Tegan looked up at Annalise then reached up and placed a subtle kiss on her lips. "You have been distracting me that's all." She knew she was risking Annalise never talking to her again but she had to take a leap of faith. It's not like she had not noticed Annalise checking her out. She suspected Annalise Liked her so she had to try.

Annalise pulled Tegan to her with a smile. Leaned close enough their lips almost touching then said " Not as much as you have been distracting me Ms. Price." As she finally kissed her. What started as a simple kiss turned into a full blown heated make out session in seconds. They were at it for a while before the elevator dinged alerting them that not only had it been fixed but they were at Tegans office and she had to resume her work. They stood up created distance between them then stared as the doors opened and pretended nothing had happened. Annalise took Tegan's phone pressed something in it then gave it back. She walked out smiling and switching her hips just a little bit more giving Annalise a show.

WIFEY💦👅💋: See you at Lunch

Tegan Read the text from Annalise laughing at how she had just saved herself in her contacts. Annalise was crazy .They happened so fast. She thought to herself.

**********  
Tegan stood up from her desk and walked to the washrooms. She found Annalise standing by the sink waiting for her looking rather impatient. They had both been caught up with work for the last three days they had not had time to spend so much time together. Annalise let Tegan wrap her hands around her. she did not hug her back .

"I can't see you anymore Tegan." Annalise said her face plain not giving any emotions. Tegan stood there frozen unable to move. Was this all a joke to Annalise. What did she do? "Why?" She managed to whisper. Annalise burst out laughing. "You should have seen your face babe. So scared?" She said in between laughs as she pulled Tegan to her kissing the hell out of her. Tegan broke off the kiss . "I said enough with pranks, babe come on ." Tegan whined. Lord, Annalise loved to see her pout and Whine. She pulled her back in kissing her some more. She could not explain how much she loved this Tiny latina Woman, who had crept her way into her heart.

"I have missed you so much. You have been so busy lately." Tegan said complaining that it'd been three days since they were entangled in bed together. "Awww baby, have you been wanking to the thoughts of me all over your body ." Annalise teased. Tegan blushed looking down . "Tonight." Annalise said kissing her. "You better show up in that thing i like." Annalise continued. "You love me naked." Tegan said brushing her thumb on Annalises bottom lip. "Even better." Annalise said , her hands ravishing Tegans body stopping at her ass , giving them a gentle squeeze. Tegan giggled her hands at the back of Annalises neck. They stared at each for a moment .

"You are so beautiful ," Tegan said to Annalise smiling at her. Annalise loved the warmth that Tegan's smile radiated. It warmed her heart. "You too baby, you are gorgeous." She replied pecking her lips. Tegan deepened the kiss then let go of Annalise.

"I should go back now, we dont want people bursting our bubble just yet. " Tegan said . "Okay , go baby." Annalise said slapping Tegan's ass before letting her go. They loved their bubble and everytime they thought about telling the Keating 5 or even Bonnie and Frank they feared they would miss sneaking around making out anywhere and everywhere with the fear of being caught. The thrill and thought of being caught fueled their romance and sex life.

Michaela came out of the Toilet surprised and excited , she could not believe what she had heard or recorded. Annalise and Tegan were together. That explains how cheeky they had been acting towards each other. But she still gave them props for how good they had been at hiding. They were so good at it , that they were able to deceive everyone even her. She could not wait to tell the others . Finally she had cracked where Annalise was all those nights she said she does not want to be disturbed. Annalise and Tegan had been slick but now they were busted and she had the best way to get them exposed.

Annalise passed by Tegans office and tossed her a wink , it was this times that she thanked the heavens they had glass offices. She loved that from her office she could see Tegan and sometimes blow her some kisses. They were pretty new in this relationship hence them being excessively playful. Tegan blushed. Annalise had left her all hot and bothered from their short bathroom break.

Wifey💦👅💋: Stop staring and go back to work mami.. Tegan read Annalises text shooting her a reply before putting her phone away looking at Annalises then turning her chair so she would not be distracted from her work .

My one❤😍: You make it so hard tho...I cant wait for tonight babe .......Annalise read smilling then put her phone away as well.

Michaela burst into the room where the rest of her collegues were . Signaling Laurel she had gist as she pulled her aside, Oliver and Connor joined them as it had been a habit.

"I figured it out , why Annalise has been in a better mood lately and how she specifically tells us not call her at night nowadays unless its a serious emergency , How she is always texting and smiling at her phone or those long phone calls she has been receiving lately. You won't believe it guys its huge." She finished as they all stared at her. "Just tell us already," Laurel told her.

"Its Tegan , Annalise is in love with Tegan . They are dating guys." Michaela told them. The rest of the gang burst out laughing not believing a word Michaela said. There is no way it could be Tegan she was in no way involved in any thing Clinic related. Annalise and Tegan were strictly professional and The only time Annalise asked for Tegans assistance was when she really needed it. Annalise hardly ever involved Tegan in their Messy lifes. Michaela took out her phone and played them the recording.

"I have missed you so much. You have been so busy lately. Awww baby, have you been wanking to the thoughts of me all over your body . Tonight. you better show up in that thing i like. You love me naked. Even better." The recording played as Annalise and Tegan took turns speaking.

The recording stopped as all of them made grossed out faces. Michaela laughed imagining all the faces she made in the bathroom as she heard the conversation first hand. "I think i know how to get them . We will trick them into coming to this room and trust me they will be making out as soon as they realise they are alone . And then we will burst them." Michaela instructed. "Since Tegan hates me , Laurel will go Tell her Annalise is asking for her as i go to tell Annalise, Tegan wants to see her. Before you ask its end of day so definately people are leaving the office so they wont find it suspicious .Connor and Oliver you hide. Also inform Bonnie and Frank i know they also tired of wondering why Annalise has been nicer and happier." She told them .

Annalise packed her things in a hurry as she wanted to get home before Tegan came by. It was a hot mess and she wanted a clean place for the Mess they were about to make. Just as she was about to leave Michaela busted inside her room.

"Whatever happened, i dont wanna hear it, not tonight atleast i have somewhere i need to be. Also you know the drill. Dont call unless one of y'all is dead or arrested. " Annalise said to Michaela even before she said anything .

"Okay but Tegan wants to see you at the Clinic." Michaela said leaving.Annalise stood still. She wondered why Tegan wanted to see her at her students office. She took her things and proceeded in the direction of the clinic.

Meanwhile Laurel stopped Tegan at the parking lot just as she was about to enter her car . "What now Laurel , i dont have time for any more Castillo bullshit , not today at least. Whatever it is text me i'll get back to you tomorrow." Tegan told her.

"Ooh it nothing actually only that Annalise asked to see you in the Clinic . She is waiting for you." Laurel told her as she left. Tegan put her things in the car then found her way back to the Clinic.

Annalise sat on top of one of the desks wondering where Tegan was. She figured she was in the washroom or just somewhere since she passed by her office and Tegan was not there. She took her phone out ready to text her when the beauty that was Tegan walked in. She turned around, looking right and left and noticed no one else was in the office but them. She walked right between Annalise's legs and reached up to kiss her.

"I see you couldn't wait to see me at home. You just had to have a taste here. " Tegan said looking at Annalise as she scrunched up her face at what Tegan said. "What, you called me here. " Annalise said as Tegan laughed "Not another prank babe , you sent Laurel to call me ."She insisted. "No way Michaela told me you were calli......I think we have been set up babe.." Annalise said as Tegan immediately removed herself from between Annalise's legs not wanting to get caught.

"No need Tegan, please be comfortable we have seen it all." Frank said as Bonnie and all the others came out from their hiding places. Michaela and Laurel re-entering the room. Annalise pulled Tegan protectively to her side as if shielding her from their eyes and questions. She rolled her eyes at them then pulled Tegans Hand.

"Lets go home Tegan . We dont have time for this." Annalise said attempting to walk out. " No Annalise for how long has thing been going on?" Bonnie asked her feelings hurt because Annalise was her best friend. "Ever since that day we got stuck in the Elevator together." She answered her. "That's like three months ago ." Bonnie continued. " Three and a half ." Tegan corrected her. Annalise chuckled , Tegan was so good with dates. "Not now babe ."Annalise told her then turned to look at the gang.

"I know you feel some type of way because i did not tell you and for that i'm sorry especially to you Bonnie and Frank and to y'all kids who cant seem to stay out of business , i know why you feel you needed to know this but this is very close to my heart. I wanted it to be just me and Tegan for as long as we could because anything that people have an idea of they find a way of ruining it. I am not saying you will ruin this but troubles seems to love us. I just wanted to keep my girlfriend away from that ." She paused then continued ." I mean look at what happened between Nate and i or even Sam , i mean look at Oliver he got involved with Connor and now he is into this big mess we call our lives. So i am not sorry for wanting Tegan to be just mine without the unnecessary drama that is our lives. " She finished

"So allow me to introduce you to my girlfriend Tegan Price." Tegan just waved as they all waved back akwardly like they never met before. "I am so happy if you are happy Annalise." Bonnie said as the others nodded in agreement. "If you dont mind i'd like to take her home we kinda have plans tonight ." Annalise said. "We know" They all said. "How?" Annalise said as Michaela shyly played the recording of them in the washroom just a few hours ago. Tegan and Annalise looked at each other then back at the gang . Annalise dragged Tegan out to the corridor as they burst out laughing.

"I cant believe they found out Anna. i cant . Fuck Michaela." she said laughing . "Those damn kids and their nosiness ,Michaela cant shut up for shit. " Annalise told her as she pulled her Into her. "The goodness of this is i can kiss you here." She said before kissing her lips slowly then skillfully attacking her neck the way Tegan loved.

"Get a room." Frank said as he passed Annalise and Tegan .  
"We had one y'all were just inside thats all." Tegan sassily told Frank as she held Annalises hand. "Now lets really go home babe ." Tegan said walking down the corridor with their hands intertwined."This feels nice. Being out and walking out of the office together ." Annalise told her. "Not so bad." Tegan replied. She was glad she would now be found in Annalises apartment and not offer anyone an explanation. She was even happier that she could steal one or two kisses as they worked now that they did not have to sneak around. And she was mostly glad that Annalise never hesitated while acknowledging her as her girlfriend.


	3. THE ONE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " How long have you been standing here?" Annalise asked just remembering she did not hear her gorgeous wife walk in.
> 
> " Long enough to see you almost break my heart." She said

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More insanity ...Enjoy❤

Annalise and Eve sat on the couch reminiscing about their college days. Annalise laughed throwing her head back, it had been a while since she saw Eve and she would be a liar if she said she did not miss her. Eve had just happened to be in town and Annalise thought why not invite her to the beautiful apartment she shared with her fiance Tegan. Annalise checked her phone for the a hundreth time and still not even a text from her baby. She was on a business trip and was yet to get back to her as she had not even replied to the simple 'did you sleep well.' Annalise had sent in the morning. To say that she was worried was an understatement and the way she missed Tegan was not helping one bit. 

'Why do you keep checking your phone like that?' Eve asked failing to resist the urge to poke her nose in Annalises business. Annalise had omitted the fact that she was engaged and that apartment was not just hers. She did not know why but she just did not tell Eve.

'I am waiting for a text or a call.' Annalise answered still with helding the 'WHO' she was expecting the text from.

'From your wife i assume, dont think i have not noticed that rock on your finger Annalise.' Eve said . Not pissed or anything but just thinking why Annalise hid the information from her. Honestly Eve had been stealing glances at the ring since she first noticed it and was waiting for Annalise to say something.

Annalise traced her finger on the diamond ring her soon to be wife had given her. She smiled. How she missed her baby. She looked down at it one more time before answering Eve. 

"Soon to be Wife, Tegan.....Tegan Price is her name." She said her voice bright .

"Tegan Price , the amazing afro latina lawyer who wins all her civil cases Tegan Price is your Fiance?" Eve asked shocked and trying to place a face to the Name.

"Yes that Tegan Price is my soon to be wife." Annalise said to her proud .

Eve scooted closer to Annalise and pulled her into hug.  
"I am so happy for you annalise." Her voice was laced with jealousy and a little bit of anger. Annalise felt and heard her and she felt like she owed Eve an explanation.

"What happened to us Annalise, What happened?" Eve asked unable to hide how she truly felt as her tears now freely streamed down her cheeks. she thought the only reason Annalise left her was because of fear and now that she was not afraid anymore Eve felt that Annalise should have gone back to her not another woman.

"We grew up Eve, Times changed and things happened. We are not the same people we were some twenty years ago. " Annalise calmly told her. 

"But we were end game Annalise , we always were." Eve said.

"That is the past Eve , you need to leave it behind. And last i checked you had a Girlfriend who was almost pregnant right? So why dont you be happy for me. You are my oldest friend Eve. so why dont you just support me?" Annalise continued.

"Support you, How and i dont even Know Tegan , how do i know she is right for you?" Eve said as she held annalises hand and turned her face to hers.

"I miss you Annalise , I miss you so much." Eve said as she leaned in to kiss Annalise , she knew that Annalise had a weak spot for her all she needed to do kiss her and she would be hers again. Annalise leaned in and touched Eve's forehead to hers. She remembered how truly happy she was with Eve. She remembered how loved she felt with Eve . She felt herself giving in to Eve and just as her lips were about to touch Eves she stood up freaked out.

'I cant , I cant... Oh no ..What if Tegan saw this?? Oooh my i dont want to loose my baby. i am so stupid. what am i doing? Oooh lord my baby. i could have hurt her so much. No , No , No. I cant do that To Tee. Not my Tee. God i love her so much. What was i about to do.?" She ranted her voice shaky and scared and her breathing heavy she spoke more to herself than to Eve who she had completely forgotten was in the house.

Tegan stood by the door. Silently not wanting her presence to be known. She had dragged her suitcase some five minutes ago and walked in on Annalise almost kissing Eve. She waited to see if she would actually betray her before Annalise jumped up freaked out. Tegan sighed relieved. She thanked the Heavens that she did not have to nurse a broken heart today. Plus she had bought a beautiful lingerie and could not wait to put it on for her Fiance as soon as they were alone. she missed her and it had been weeks since she was entangled in the sheets with Annalise and God not even the many times she wanked on her trip with the thoughts of Annalise ravishing her body could explain how much she missed sleeping with Annalise.

"I can't Eve, I am so sorry but there is no longer an Us and there never will be. I have lots of respect and love for you and you are a great friend to me but I love my wife ...I know we are not married yet but I love my wife . God i love that woman. She made me feel loved , seen and heard. She is everything to me and i cannot not have her in my life. She is my strength , my ride or die. She held me down when no one else would. I dont think there can ever be Annalise without Tegan. She is the best thing in my life Eve and if you cant be my friend enough to see how much in love i am with her then there is no point being friends anymore ." Annalise said. She had never realised how much Tegan meant to her till she said it out loud.

Tegan smiled at the admission . Annalise had bared her soul infront of Eve proclaiming her love for her. She grew impatient and all she wanted to do was let her wife know she was home.

''Annalise " They heard from door. Annalise turned around at that voice and rushed to her arms. She was not sure when Tegan got home or how much she had seen or heard but she was here. And Annalise could not have been happier.

"Baby , I thought you would not be home for another three days." Annalise said into their embrace as she pulled back and kissed her fiancee.

"Well i finished work in the early hours of today and got a last minute flight home as soon as my bosses say i could leave . I could not wait to see you. I just landed some 30 minutes ago. And babe all those calls i was not dieing you know." She added laughing.

Annalise sighed relieved she was so proud her fiance was a genius always finishing her assignments and work earlier than everybody.

" How long have you been standing here?" Annalise asked just remembering she did not hear her gorgeous wife walk in.

" Long enough to see you almost break my heart." She said calmly but she was not pissed. As a matter of fact Tegan was delighted, she loved that Annalise had resisted Eve and made it known to Eve that Tegan was The one now. She loved how freaked out Annalise had been when she almost kissed Eve and how much she scolded herself when she thought she would loose Tegan. She loved Annalise even more for keeping her word, She remembered what Annalise had said to her.

"Tegan i am in love with you , i probably always will be and i promise to be only with you. I promise to stay True to you to be honest and to respect our relationship. I promise to be your rock just as you are mine.' Tegan smiled and looked at her ring.

She held out her hand to Annalise and the other hand dragged her suitcase inside the house. She paused near the couch that Eve sat on.(who they both completely forgot was there btw)

"Baby , introduce me to your friend." Tegan said as Annalise let go of her hand not ignoring the emphasis Tegan put on Friend.

"You are so cheeky." Annalise whispered in Tegan's Ear  
"You like it." Tegan said as she chuckled and approached Eve.

Honestly she wanted to kick her out for coming into their house and trying to tempt her Fiance into cheating on her while on the couch where they first made love after moving in together. But Tegan Price was better than than that. And she refused to be the jealous type. And all the security she needed was in that heart felt speech Annalise just told Eve.

"Eve this is the love of my life, Tegan Price and also my soon to be Wife." Annalise said to Eve. Tegan stretched her hand towards Eve and Shaked it.

"its a pleasure to finally meet you Tegan ," Eve said as Tegan nodded in response.

"Annalise I will be taking my leave now. And i'm sorry." She apologized more to Tegan than Annalise .

"No stay please, Lets have Dinner together and maybe you can tell me all the crazy things Annalise did in college. " Tegan said shocking Annalise and Eve. 

Tegan dragged her luggage upstairs ,she saw the unfinished wine she was having and got some nasty thoughts to tease her wife.She poured some of that wine on her body then snapped some photos. After taking the photo she freshened up , wore a full silk body robe then sent the photo to her fiance.

WIFEY❤👅💦 : A lil Something to make sure your ex never distracts you again. 

Annalise gasped as she opened the text and she swore she felt all her breathe leave her body as she inhaled a huge amount of air to calm herself down. She could not ignore the wetness that had began to form. 

MY ONE💜👩❤️💋👩 : You are an ass.. Come give me some sugar💋❤❤

Annalise pressed send put her phone away and continued friendly chatter with Eve. She watched the stairs as the beauty that would soon be her wife came down with a robe around her and some comfy socks. She blew her a kiss and Tegan laughed pretending to throw it away . Annalise pretended to be hurt by that gesture. She could not wait to spend eternity with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> something i dribbled. I dont know how i feel about this chapter. But i love them so much  
> ps. This book was supposed to be a one chapter..


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is this

Tegan texted Annalise some two hours ago and still no reply. She tossed her phone across the room . She was frustrated and beyond pissed at herself but more at Annalise. Why was she being so childish and weird. Tegan sat down ansty shaking her leg as she reminisced. They were walking from the office when she casually mentioned she was going Salsa Dancing , she invited Annalise but Annalise turned her down, some few hours later Annalise showed up to the salsa club and they danced and laughed all through. At around half past midnight a drunk Tegan closed the space between them , she reached up and pressed her lips against Annalise's . "I couldn't help myself." She said laughing. Annalise took her hand practically dragging Tegan out of the club. Once outside Annalise forcefully pulled Tegan into her, staring at her long and hard searching for something. " I am sorry Anna..." She said but Annalise stopped her mid sentence as she kissed her. It was long and deep and Tegan could have sworn her heart stopped. "You talk too much, your house or mine?" An equally drunk Annalise asked as she kissed Tegan's neck softly not wanting to loose contact . She had craved All of Tegan since she first saw her so she was not about to waste a moment. "Yours ." Tegan said in between breaths. Annalise called a lyft as none of them was in a position to drive . On the drive home , they made out like teenagers as the driver kept on peaking enjoying the show the two women had put on for him. Once at home clothes were flying everywhere as they rushed upstairs to finally make love. Early the next Morning Tegan woke up to a note "Had to leave town for a family emergency see you soon?" The note read. Tegan dressed up and left for her house.

That note was the last Tegan had heard from Annalise and since then Annalise had been avoiding Tegan like a plague. She said nothing more than plesantaries and the only time she said a whole sentence to her it had to be work related . It had been two months and Annalise still was continuing with the bullshit hence prompting the can we talk text from Tegan. Still no reply no nothing and Tegan had had it with her. She knew it was not just sex that night , the passion was over flowing and the way they ravished each others bodies like their lives depended on that moment was more than Intense not to mention the way Annalise had held on to Tegan like she was afraid Tegan would slip away. 

Tegan stood up and went over to her kitchen she poured herself some whiskey, she was definately a gin girl all through but today she wanted to be dead wasted , to forget the night that shamelessly replayed in her mind . She wanted to forget Annalise. She took the first shot and closed her eyes savouring the taste , then the second and the third , just as she was about to take her forth her door bell rang , Not politely though it rang as if the person outside was being robbed and she desperately needed help.

Tegan rushed to the door and opened it to a stumbling Annalise, on one hand she held a piece of paper on the other a bottle of Vodka , She hugged Tegan tightly and held on to her. Without a word she staggered to the couch and held the paper towards Tegan . Tegan took it from her hand and Annalise chugged some more of her vodka. Tegan took the bottle from her "Let me drink baby, please." Annalise told her, her voice tired and her face full of exhaustion. She looked super wasted.Tegan ignored her and went to the kitchen , coming back with a glass of water she forced Annalise to drink it , Annalise sat up , opened her arms and Tegan not really understanding what was happening she scooted into them. Annalise laid her head on Tegan , trailed her hands on her hair and within no time she passed out . Tegan held her some more before laying her down on the couch , taking some covers she covered her then slowly caressed her cheeks. She leaned in and kissed her forehead . "So much for wanting to forget." She said as she picked up the letter and sat down on the floor to read it.

Tegan  
As you read this , i am probably drunk somewhere in your house and for that i am sorry . i really needed to be intoxicated to be able to tell you this. I could not do this sober , i could not bring myself to come clean sober , so i decided to come to you in my most vulnerable state. DRUNK AND IN WRITING.

You intoxicate me Tegan , So so much more than my sweet Vodka , you drive me nuts and there has not been a day ever since that night that i have not caught myself wondering , staring into space thinking of you and what you made me feel . How you make me feel. I am stupid and a coward T. I should not have lied to you that morning. There was no family emergency , i just ran Tegan i ran away from how you made me feel, i ran away from how loved you made me feel that night and i am afraid thats all i know how to do. To run.  


Truth be told you make me feel all kind of ways. You make me feel seen , you make feel heard , you make me feel loved , you Tegan make me feel like a woman, And that terrifies me, it scares me to the depths of my soul. I don't know why i cannot help myself when it comes to you. I don't know how to love Tegan. Love has never been kind to me, all that i know is love has been cruel to me. Everyone who loves me or gets entangled with me ends up hurt , they end up hating me and worst case scenario they end up dead. Love has betrayed me , broken me down to pieces , stripped me and left me bare. Love has left me feeling more alone than anything else. So i am scared , so scared that if i start loving you , i will loose you .

Tegan listen , i am unable to love and i don't know how but you , you make me crazy , i can't get you out of my system . I am unable to not Love you . I am unable to run anymore and i don't think i can go one more day without you. I crave the life that your lips gave me, i crave the feel of your hands on my body. I crave how alive i felt that night. I crave all of you. I refuse to go one more day without you. I refuse to not have you in my life so please have me Baby, because Tegan i am so hopelessly and helplessy in love with you i cannot hide it anymore .

It is at my weakest with no more spirit to fight you or with you that i can honestly tell you my heart and head have battled you for so long but babe you won ,I love you Tegan .  
I love you so much 

Tegan wiped the tears in her eyes. She had not realized she was crying. She held the letter close to her then placed it on the table. She could tell Annalise cried writing this because she saw the dried tear spots on the letter. Tegan turned and looked at Annalise , sleeping so peacefully. She held her hand and sighed wondering what Tommorow would be like will Annalise remember she even wrote this . Will she fight with her or will she fake another family emergency just to leave. But Tegan's heart had been swayed she knew there was no forgetting Annalise , she could feel it in her bones that she loved Annalise as much as Annalise did her so she kissed her cheek took her letter and climbed up to her room.

Tegan re read the letter once more smiling at the parts where Annalise called her Baby or Babe. She knew she was smitten. She read it over and over again till she drifted to sleep with the letter just on her bedside table. 

Annalise woke up , her head aching and every part of her body aching. She scanned her surroundings and realized she was at Tegan's place. She stretched walked to medicine cabinet took some pills then walked upstairs. She must have really drunk herself silly last night , she got flashes of her writing a letter to Tegan. She cannot remember the contents of the letter but she knows she got overly emotional. She remembered her lyft to Tegan's and how she held on to her after that she remembers nothing. 

She saw the letter and read it then read it again. She whispered a shit to herself ,placed the letter down and started walking out  
"Running again?" Tegan said drousily and half asleep "Never." Annalise said going back to Tegan's bed. "I was just letting you sleep more ." Annalise said  
"Plus i really don't know if you want me here, i am messed up Tegan , i am sorry i just showed up in that state." Annalise said. Tegan scooted over and patted the bed for Annalise to get in with her. Annalise did as she was told , she got in bed with Tegan. Tegan laid her head on Annalise's chest as Annalise wrapped her arms around Tegan . Tegan fit perfectly . "Annalise just hold me , let me feel you ." Tegan said. Annalise pressed a kiss on Tegan's head and they slowly drifted to sleep.

Annalise woke up a little later than Tegan . Tegan was in the kitchen prepairing some coffee .She saw Annalise walking towards her and offered her a smile. She knew they had to talk .  
Annalise sat across from Tegan. "T i know i already said this but i am sorry for lying and leaving you alone in bed. For avoiding you , for hurting you i am really sorry ." Annalise said as she noticed Tegan's eyes looking at the letter. " I read it today, i was not sure what i wrote yesterday. All i knew then was that , what i wrote was my truth. You are my truth . I meant everything i wrote in that letter , I really do love you Tegan. I am tired of being without you." Annalise finished . Tegan stood up and walked to Annalise. She held her hand out and Annalise took it standing up. 

Tegan looked up at Annalise "Annalise , I want you all of you, the good and the bad. I know you are scared , and love has not been kind to you. But i will love you Annalise with all i have. I will make you happy , I want to walk with you every step of the this journey all you gotta do is promise me is that no matter how tough this get you will stay. You can't run from me Annalise . You have to promise me we are in this together." Tegan finished.

"I promise ." Annalise said back. She had honestly expected a hard time from Tegan but after Tegan read that letter she understood. She understood how a person's insecurities can eat them up till they feel like they are not worthy of anything. Tegan knew that you cannot expect love from a heart that has never known love. So as Annalise promised to Stay no matter she promised to show her nothing but love. 

"So are you going to kiss me already or do you need a letter and some vodka to do that also." Tegan laughed as Annalise kissed her with everything she had. Annalise hoisted her up and Tegan wrapped her legs around her waist. Annalise walked with Tegan in her arms and she carefully placed her in the couch. She leaned down and placed kisses all over Tegan . Tegan giggled like a school girl whose crush had just been reciprocated. "Stop it you drunk." Tegan said swatting Annalise's hands from her sides as Annalise tickled her .

"I only want to be drunk on you baby . Only you." Annalise said as she captured Tegans lips once more igniting their most heated make out session yet.

**Author's Note:**

> I had put this up a while back..  
> Its really mushy and weird excuse me for that  
> hoped i tried.❤❤


End file.
